


First Kiss Last Kiss

by TardisTexan



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-09
Updated: 2014-01-11
Packaged: 2018-01-08 01:46:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1126932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TardisTexan/pseuds/TardisTexan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>River is so upset when she thinks she has had her last kiss with the Doctor that she forgets Rule #1</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rage in Stormcage

River was in her cell at Stormcage, sobbing. It was so cold and she huddled under a blanket trying to warm herself, but the coldness went all the way to her core. A few hours ago she had kissed the Doctor goodbye as she had so many times before, and he had said that it was their first kiss for him. That had to mean it was their last kiss for her, didn't it? Was it really true that she would never again see the Doctor that was her husband? Could the universe really be so cruel? She had endured her childhood, killing him at the lake, and everything that came after including sitting in Stormcage for years, just to be robbed of their future so quickly? 

The storm raged outside and so did River. She screamed and beat the wall behind her bunk and cried. She knew she would see him again, but he would be younger each time. He would not love her. He would not kiss her and hold her and share that intimacy that she had cherished so much. It wasn't fair! She had exhausted herself with emotion and was now huddled under her blanket, freezing. She should get up and put something warmer on, but she couldn't imagine moving.

She gave a start when she heard his sonic on the door of her cell. Her eyes flew open in alarm, thankful for the dim light. She wiped away her tears and tried to look presentable. She really didn't need to deal with some young Doctor right now, but here he was and she would have to suck it up.

The Doctor immediately realized something was wrong. She hadn't gotten up to greet him and she was shaking. He sat down next to her on the cot. "River, what is it? What's wrong?" he asked as he took her hands. They were like ice, and why were they swollen?

"It's nothing, I'm fine Sweetie," she tried to say with a smile, but her voice was trembling.

"You are not fine. Tell me right now, what has happened?" he said, his voice stern. But the hands that were stroking hers were gentle.

"It doesn't matter. Where are you coming from? Let me get my diary..."

"Stop." He said, pulling her back down to the cot. As the lightening illuminated her face, he could see that she had been crying. Her eyes were red and swollen, and held a sadness he hadn't seen in a long time. A second flash of lightening showed him the marks on her wall, just about fist sized. "River, don't get your diary. I am your husband, and I am old enough to know that 'It doesn't matter' is usually code for 'The Doctor did or said something that hurt me, but I'm not supposed to let it hurt me or if it does hurt me I'm not allowed to let it show because I'm supposed to be okay this messed up timeline thing or I need to protect him from my feelings or he won't understand or I have to be strong.' Right?" River's eyes were wide with surprise. This was not the Doctor she was expecting. "You stop this right now. Tell me what I did to hurt you. If you won't tell me then I'll go back to the TARDIS and spend days calculating when I was here last and figure it out. Please just tell me." His voice softened, "I really want to know."

She let out a sigh and decided to tell him. This was her husband, her Doctor, so maybe she had been wrong. Maybe they weren't going in opposite directions after all. "Do you remember the day when you dropped me off here after Florida, and I kissed you goodbye and you said it was the first time you had kissed me?"

He nodded and smiled. "That was a fabulous kiss. Do you know how many nights I spent dreaming of that kiss?" He remembered back, and then remembered the hurt in her eyes as he basically sprinted away from her. His eyes lowered. "And afterward I ran off like a scared 13 year old boy, didn't I? You were hurt, I could see it in your eyes, but I was so scared. I'm sorry, River. And oh god, I called the whole thing 'interesting' didn't I? Damn, I completely messed that up." He pulled her close to him. It had been a long time ago for him, but the pain was fresh to her. "That was today for you," he realized. 

She nodded. "I am not hurt that you ran. I understand that, you were scared of... us, I guess. What broke my heart was that I was absolutely sure that because we are moving in opposite directions that the first time for you must be the last time for me. And I was shattered by that. I couldn't imagine never seeing the you that knew me, that loved me, that married me, ever again. But here you are. So see, I was just being ridiculous. It was silly and it really didn't matter. So, let's just forget.." 

He cut her off. "You are not silly. Yes, here I am. And I am happy to tell you that you were wrong, Doctor Song." He put his hand on her face and tipped her head up to his and kissed her. His lips softly moved against hers, trying to soothe her aches. "Very, very wrong," he whispered and kissed her again. She sighed against him and melted into his kiss. He pulled her to him and rocked her, running his hands up and down her back, trying to warm her up. 

He felt terrible. She was in terrible pain, because of him again. And what was worse? _He had lied to her._ She would find out, probably not too long from now, but she didn't know yet that he had lied to her that night. He pulled the blanket up around her and hugged her tight. While it was true that he had been scared when she kissed him, and it had been the first time she had kissed that face, it hadn't really been their first kiss. River had kissed the spikey haired, pinstripe Doctor. He had been in a very bad place. He was scared, but it wasn't River he was scared of at the time and she had been a light in the darkness for him. After he had regenerated though, fear of her and everything she meant came flooding over him the first time he saw her. 

When she had figured out that he had lied to her she had given him quite a good smack, then she really made him pay by torturing him. Slow, sweet, delicious torture, that had tortured him for many nights after that. So really, he had already paid for it, right? 

He looked down at her, trembling in his arms, his head full of curses at himself. His little lie had hurt her deeply, just so she wouldn't see what a little scared baby he was. She had really thought that there would be no more intimate moments for them. She hadn't told him that she thought they were literally opposite each other. And as far as he could tell, there was no reason for her to think that. Married him had been seeing her in Stormcage for years now. He had taken her all over the universe, hand in hand, husband and wife.

He pulled back and looked at her, and gently ran his fingers across her cheek. "River, what made you think that my firsts would be your lasts?" 

"Maybe my fears got the best of me. But I keep meeting younger and younger you. I know that one day we will meet, and you will look at me and you won't know who I am..... and it will kill me."

The Doctor went cold, the words like ice daggers right to his soul. He couldn't look at her so he just held her tight again. It hit him hard.... oh my god she is right. His first day with her would literally be her last. And the rage hit him, probably as hard at it had hit her earlier. How could the universe be so cruel? But he couldn't get angry, not yet. She was always the strong one, holding him when he broke. He would return that to her now. 

He rocked her as his mind raced. He had to do something about this. The universe bent to his will, not the other way around. He couldn't change what happened at the Library, but he could change what happened between then and now. He had to stop getting lost in adventures and lose track of how long it had been since he had come to see her. He would visit her in Stormcage more, he would make it a point to see older her. He couldn't leave her to his younger self. He already knew how badly his words hurt her in those days. He had to be better to her, and he would be. He already had a plan. He was starting to delete himself from databases. Once he was erased from history, then she wouldn't have to be in this awful place. Then they could be together until that horrible day came when he would say goodbye.

"River, I know you don't want to hear spoilers. But I'll tell you something about that day. Even though I had never met you before, you were still the most amazing thing I had ever seen. You were breathtaking."

The Doctor pushed her back a bit so he could see her. He held her face and said, "My darling, today is not your last kiss." He kissed her. "That day is not coming for a long long time." He kissed her again. "It fills my hearts to know that you were not okay with the thought of never seeing me again. You could so easily hate me, but if you did.... if the idea that we would never be together again like this didn't matter to you...." he trailed off. He could see the answer in her eyes, in her hoarse voice, in her swollen hands. It mattered to her a great deal. "River, I am so so sorry that I hurt you when I ran from you. But, I promise you that we are not always meeting in opposite directions. I am here now and will continue to be. I will make sure of it. Yes, you'll still see the young idiot from time to time, but as your timeline moves forward, this man who loves you will be here to kiss you for as long as you want him to be."

River put her hands into his hair and crushed his lips to hers. Her kiss was urgent and demanding, and he heard her whisper in his mind, _Oh, Shut Up._ At that, he stood and picked her up in his arms, and carried her into the cloaked TARDIS waiting right outside her cell door.


	2. Balthis

The Doctor had been wandering. He was going from place to place, having a jolly ole time, or at least pretending to have a jolly ole time. He had just left the planet Ziortha. Ziortha had the most amazing black beaches and it was carnival time. There had been a non stop party for the past two weeks and he had lost himself in it. There had even been a small fire monster who hopped from bonfire to bonfire and then had ended up hopping from rooftop to rooftop causing all sorts of destruction. He had captured it and trapped it one of the planet's volcanoes. That had been great fun. But now he was sitting in the TARDIS, and he realized he was brooding. "Why am I brooding?" he asked aloud. But he knew the answer. The Song of the Ood was calling. His time was ending. And dammit, he wasn't ready for his time to end. This body had lived and had loved. He was scared that if he regenerated, he would lose that love, that familiar ache that was his companion now. He was sad, and there was no one here. He had found a little comfort here and there, but there was no one with him who knew him, really knew him, and he was lonely. "I'm the Doctor and I don't brood!" he said aloud. "Well, that's a ridiculous statement now isn't it? And why am I talking to myself?"

Talking to myself, that triggered a memory he had been trying to pin down for a while. He vaguely remembered something that had happened recently, at least he thinks it was recently because he's missing some time. He remembers talking to other versions of himself. Maybe it had been a dream. Maybe he had been drugged somehow and had slept for days and had this crazy dream. Or maybe it had really happened. It's not completely unheard of for different versions of myself to run across each other, he thought. And if the timestreams had gotten too out of sync, he wouldn't really remember it would he? He remembered a very young looking Doctor showing up when he had been with Elizabeth. He was pretty sure that was the Doctor that would come right after him, damn smug bastard. He was wearing a bow tie, for God's sake. A bow tie? He would never wear a bow tie. He wanted to hate that guy, but somehow he didn't. He also remembered an older looking Doctor. He couldn't remember his face very well, he just remembered grey hair and wrinkles. He had had an older appearance a few times, so maybe it was one of them. It was just all so fuzzy and he couldn't put all of the pieces together. Maybe that's why he was brooding, because he couldn't remember and that bothered him. 

He thought that if he tried to focus on one thing, try to remember it clearly, then maybe more would come back. He remembered himself and the one who wore a bow tie being in the Black Archive. Why in the world would they go there? he wondered. He concentrated and could see various objects in the archive. But he had an idea what would be there already, didn't he? His mind could be inventing the whole thing. But then he remembered the vivid red of the women's shoes he saw. He focused on that and for a few seconds he had a very clear memory of asking the other Doctor about River Song and seeing how much the other Doctor cared about her and the other Doctor being upset about the Library.

"River Song," he said aloud. "Now there is a mystery." Who was this crazy, presumptuous woman who obviously cared about so much about him and knew his name? _Knew his name._ The question scared him too much to ponder it long. And she had died, right there in front of him. She loved him so much that she took his place in death saying "Not one line, don't you dare." She was important, obviously, but she had also been very intriguing. From what he had seen at the Library she was brilliant and brave, caring of those around her, and he admitted it - the woman was the very definition of sexy. Since then, she had shown up in his dreams occasionally. It had only been a few times, but the dreams of River were always erotic and he woke up aching in places he didn't want to ache. He had been thinking about her, and his thoughts hadn't exactly been pure. "River Song, who are you?" 

At the mention of River's name, he felt the energy of the TARDIS shift. He looked up and asked aloud, "Do you know River, Old Girl?" The TARDIS hummed positively, and he felt something odd. Did the TARDIS feel... he searched for the word he was feeling.. possessive of River? What was that about? He thought back to the Library and remembered every word they had said to each other. She trusted him completely, she knew his name, and she called him Sweetie. Sweetie? "I would never let anyone call me Sweetie," he grumbled. But he had let River call him that, hadn't he? They obviously had quite a future together, and the Bow Tie Doctor had confirmed it. At least he was pretty sure the other Doctor had confirmed it. 

"She acted like she knew me. Does that mean she has seen this face before?" he asked aloud. The TARDIS brightened a bit. "Oh really? Maybe we should go see her." He felt the TARDIS respond. What the hell was going on here? The TARDIS was excited to see her? This was really bizarre. He knew that he shouldn't. Obviously she was from his future and he shouldn't dabble in that. But the end was coming. He knew the Ood would sing their final song for him soon. Why the hell shouldn't he go? River knew the Doctor, River knew his face, and it would only be one time. One innocent time before some other guy showed up and swept her off her feet, he assumed. "Oh why not, Let's go find out who this River Song is" He walked over to the control panel and realized he had no idea where to go. "Well, you'll take me, won't you? Go ahead, take me to River. I assume we are going to some ridiculous school of archeology. She'll probably be lecturing and I can tell her how wrong she is about her topic de jour."

When the TARDIS landed, he looked at the instruments. He was on Balthis. Balthis? Why was he here? He peeked outside. He was not at a school at all. He was just outside of a town. There were several buildings around but they were still sparse as he was on the outskirts, right where the forest was thinning. He looked up and saw a few Sontaran ships hovering above the town. Great, Sontarans. What were they doing here? He started to walk around and investigate and all of the sudden he heard shouting down toward the bottom of hill he was on. The Doctor saw River running at full speed out of the trees. She was in a sleeveless dress with a wide belt, boots, and a gun in both of her hands. He hair was flying free and right behind her was Captain Jack Harkness, carrying a gold looking box. What? What? River and Jack? He watched as all of the sudden ten Sontarans surrounded the two. River and Jack smiled at each and in a flurry of gunfire, all of the Sontarans were very quickly on the ground. What? It had happened so fast, he wasn't sure what they had done, but the sound had drawn the attention of other Sontarans and the Doctor watched in horror as more troops approached. He was sure the two would be captured. Of course, I'll go in and get them, he thought, but the capturing might not be very pleasant for them. As he was thinking about how he was going to get them free, River walked right up to the leader of the squad, and started talking. The Doctor's jaw dropped. He couldn't hear what she was saying, but she was smiling. All of the sudden she laughed and threw something right in the middle of the squad. A cloud of smoke or some sort of gas erupted from the small object she had thrown. River turned and ran as Jack shot the gas cloud and it erupted in flame. All of the Sontarans, gone, just like that.

What the bloody hell? the Doctor thought. The woman was crazy, that had to be it. She had just slaughtered a whole troop of Sontarans, just her and Jack. He should be appalled by her, but he didn't think he was. This woman, who he had to assume was going to be his wife, had just killed a whole squad of Sontarans. What?

"Oh Doctor," River yelled. "You can come out now, Sweetie. I heard the engines, I know you are there somewhere." 

He thought for a second about ignoring her. Maybe he was better off not getting involved with this woman, leaving it to his future self, but he was too intrigued by her. Apparently she was much more than a professor of Archeology. He had just watched her take down an impressive number of Sontarans. Who was this woman? He walked down the hill towards her. As he got closer, he could see that she was watching him, her eyes never leaving him as he walked. She was talking and laughing with Jack, but her eyes never left him. When he got down the hill, he stood in front of her and was taken aback. She was beautiful. Before, he had only seen her in a space suit with her hair pulled back. But now he could see the whole woman, and she was breathtaking. Her eyes were bright and laughing. She had a smudge of dirt across her cheek and a small swipe of blood on her arm. The dress hugged her curves and showed off her shapely arms and well, shapely everything. The skirt of her dress and a few wayward curls were dancing in the breeze. Her hair, oh God her hair, her thought. It was this mass of wild curls going in every direction. He wanted to put his hands in it right then, but he put them in his pockets instead. Her skin was glistening with a slight sheen of sweat and a small drop was running down her neck, and then across her chest, and then it disappeared between her breasts. The Doctor swallowed hard. 

"Hello Doctor," Jack said with a smile. "River, do you know this one?"

"I know his face. Of course he was part of my research for my thesis, but I've never actually talked to him one on one before. But from he way he's looking at us, I suspect he knows me."

"We've met once before, Professor Song." the Doctor said. The Doctor gave Jack a nod, "Captain."

"This one doesn't like me, River." Jack said eyeing the Doctor.

"Why ever not? I like you." River ran a finger down Jack's chest suggestively but kept her eyes on the Doctor.

"Fixed point, paradox, time traveler, better looking than he is, having more fun than he ever will, take your pick." Jack said, catching her eye and grinning at her. "You won't go off with him in the TARDIS and leave me here will you?"

"No, of course not. This one won't know who I am yet. That means I can't have too much fun with him, now can I?"

"I really wish the two of you would stop talking about me like I'm not here. And stop flaunting that you know my future, that's just rude. And do you both really have to flirt in front of me?" The Doctor said crossly.

Jack laughed and kissed River on the forehead. "I'll go take this to our contact," he said gesturing to the gold box. "Meet me at the bar just inside the city gate when you are done?" River nodded at him and Jack turned to go. "It had to be another one that doesn't like me. Do any of the versions you run around with fancy me enough to let me take you both to bed?" he asked over his shoulder. 

"Spoilers" River purred in a flirty way after him. Jack grabbed his heart in mock pain, blew her a kiss, and sauntered off.

The Doctor looked at his feet. "So, are you and Jack...?"

"No, but not for lack of trying by Jack," River smiled at him. "My heart belongs to someone else."

"Do you really have to encourage him then?" the Doctor grumbled. 

"Are you jealous, Sweetie?"

"Jealous? Why in the world would I be jealous?" The Doctor asked indignantly. "I don't even know who you are, as you just reminded me."

"You know something," she said studying him. "Just enough of a something, apparently." She put her arms around his neck and stepped closer to him. "I wonder what happened that one time we met." The Doctors eyes darkened. Well he certainly couldn't tell her what happened, could he? He opened his mouth, searching for words to explain, and she took one finger and put it across his lips. "No, don't tell me. It's against the rules." She stepped closer to him, her breasts brushing his chest, "But you know _something_ , and it is apparently enough to let me be this close to you." She put her lips to his ear "must have been a pretty good first date."

The Doctor froze and he closed his eyes in pain. This woman was dead, dead because he didn't save her. The pain was acute, and before he knew it he pulled her to him in a fierce hug. He shouldn't have done it, but right then he needed it. He needed her. He had been so lonely, and she was so soft and so alive in his arms. He had been hurt by her death, more hurt than he had realized. And he had been so very alone for so long. It was all jumbled up in a mix of pain and sadness and he really really needed a hug right now. He held her tight and laid his head against hers. River knew something was wrong. She knew that hug, recognized that need. "Doctor, what is it? What's wrong?" she asked, keeping her arms around him.

He took a deep breath and stepped away from her. He put a big smile on his face, "Nothing, nothing at all. I had just been uh.... wondering what that would be like," trying but failing miserably to hide what he really felt. 

She saw through him and her heart softened. She saw something in his eyes that broke her heart. "Is the TARDIS that way?" she asked. When he nodded, they started walking. "Why are you on Balthis, Doctor?" 

"Well.." he tried to come up with something and couldn't. He really just didn't want to lie anymore, it made him tired. "Honestly? You were right, there was just enough of a something the last time I saw you and I wanted to see you again. Is that okay?"

"Yes Sweetie, that is okay." She walked into the TARDIS and looked around at the interior. She walked over to the console and ran her hand around it. "This console is beautiful. I love the round shape. And these parts move when she flies, yes? Hello, Gorgeous. I've missed you too. Did you bring him to me? Yes, okay I'll take care of him." The Doctor watched River talking to his TARDIS. _His_ TARDIS. She looked back and him and said, "I'm going to run to the bathroom and clean up a bit. Just give me a second, okay?" He nodded and she disappeared down the corridor. 

The TARDIS let her find her room and River went in. It was her room, but she could tell it was a version from before she started spending the night with the Doctor. She nodded, it made sense. She went into the adjoining bathroom and started cleaning herself up. She knew why she was here. The Doctor had told her how bad off he was after Donna and everyone else were gone. She knew about the long journey he took alone before he gave in and went to the Ood. She hoped she could help, and she had an idea how. She knew the Doctor, and this one had big sad puppy dog eyes. He hadn't told her that she would see him, but spoilers, right? River took off her clothes and rummaged around for something to put on. "And my but this Doctor is handsome, isn't he?" she said to the TARDIS. She had seen him before, watched him when she was researching her thesis, but she hadn't talked to his one. He was young yes, but he was still the Doctor, still the man she loved, and damn the packaging was quite nice this go round. She wouldn't mind holding him for a while, she wouldn't mind at all.

Was this a trick? the Doctor wondered as he waited for her. Was someone or something using this woman as a weapon against him and he had fallen for it? No, the TARDIS obviously had some sort of feeling for her, and she had known his name. He remembered how he had felt when she had said his name to him. At the time, it was shock, pure shock, but later when he thought back on it, having a woman's voice calling him by his name felt good, oh so good. He wished she would do it again. But it seemed to be something she did because she felt she had no other choice. She didn't know that he knew that she knew his name. He sighed, that would have been nice to hear again.

She came back a bit later and her skin was scrubbed clean. She was also wearing clean clothes. She was wearing a white tank top and some sort of soft tight pants with her boots. What did Rose call those? Leggings, he remembered. She was carrying a small bag, a red leather jacket, and couple of cushions from some piece of furniture. "So, you can talk to the TARDIS, and you have clothes here. I don't have a chance, do I?"

River smiled and gestured toward the console. "She and I are old friends. Don't let it worry you. And she brought you to me. Trust her, even if you don't trust me." River went over near the wall away from the console and put her things down. He followed. She arranged the cushions down on the floor and sat down. "Why don't you sit down with me for a little while. Jack won't actually want me to meet him at the bar for several hours. He'll be looking for someone to burn his battle energy with. I'll find him later." He decided not to fight it. This woman meant something, and he could easily see why. In fact, he could already feel it gently tugging at him. The wild flirtation was gone, the quick wit was gone. Now, she was all calmness and lightness and sitting with her on those cushions looked very inviting. Human women were amazing creatures. How were they all of these things at once? Brutal and brave, sexy and wild, but also soft and caring?

He sat down and River wound her arms around his waist and they laid back against the TARDIS wall. The ship lowered the lights and hummed to them. River's head was against his shoulder. She smelled like jasmine. He closed his eyes and relaxed, the smell of her enveloping him, the softness of her body against him. This should be wrong. He has met her only once before and she had met him about half an hour ago and yet, she is comforting him. And it doesn't feel wrong at all. "Have I told you about this?" he asked. 

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Well, this is the first time you have ever met me and..."

"It seems like I know you? And it should be weird but it isn't? You have seen a peek into our future together, I can tell. I'm not sure how, but you have. You know that I trust the Doctor and you trust me somehow. You were probably very annoyed with me at first, weren't you?" 

The Doctor laughed. Talking with her seemed easy. "Yep. You were very annoying. And yes, I've seen enough to know I can trust you."

"And now the TARDIS has brought you to me because you are hurting, I can see it." The Doctor just looked ahead, saying nothing. "I suspect you are near the end of your timeline. You told me that this time you knew regeneration was coming, knew for a long time. I'm sorry, I know you don't want to hear that I know your future. I just want you to know that I have an understanding of how you are feeling because you have told me about it. You are safe with me."

"Oh I don't know, am I really safe with you River Song?"

River ignored that question. "You know, I think I'd quite like to hear some of your stories from you. Will you tell me?"

Sure, he could do that. He thought that being an archeologist, she might like to hear the real story of Pompeii because all of the history books are wrong. So, he started with that one. As he talked, he became animated and excited and River was delighted. This was a great story. And then he told her about meeting Shakespeare, the Adipose, how Donna just showed up in a wedding dress inside the TARDIS, being stuck in 1969, any story he thought she would like to hear. Then he started talking about adventures with Rose. "Umm, are you ok with..." 

"Yes Sweetie, it's fine. Go ahead." So he did. He told her everything. He told her about their travels. About the Bad Wolf and how he had regenerated into this form. How they were separated when the Army of Ghosts invaded the Earth, then he talked about how Rose had found him, and how MetaCrisis Doctor happened. He told her about towing the stolen Earth back home and how everyone helped him fly the TARDIS. "I think you would have liked that, River, seeing the TARDIS flown by everyone at once. It was fantastic." She smiled and laughed with him. He talked and talked and the whole while River held his hand, rubbed his arm or his leg and was just there. A comforting presence. 

He realized that he had been talking for a long time and he looked down at her. She was watching him, enraptured. He did feel safe with her, and seeing the love in her eyes tapped in to something very male deep inside of him. Seeing a beautiful woman looking at you like that, well, there was only one thing to do. He bent his head and he kissed her. It surprised him a little when she responded to his kiss and wound her arms around his neck. He deepened the kiss and his tongue darted out to meet hers, just a little.

River pulled back from the kiss, breathless. He could see that she was thinking about something, and then out of nowhere she slapped him hard across the face. His eyes grew wide and his jaw dropped. "Oi!" he exclaimed loudly. "That hurt!" 

River quickly let her anger go. "I'm sorry. I just realized that you lied to me in the future about when our first kiss was. I don't know why in the world you would do that." River shook her head. "Future you and I will have a conversation about this later." She gently ran her fingers up and down his jaw. "I suppose that if you are going to lie to me about it, then let's make this something worth lying about." River laid back on the pillows and pulled him down with her, winding her fingers into his hair and kissing him passionately. Her mouth was demanding and when he responded in kind, she moaned against him. 

Oh god, I am so doomed, the Doctor thought as she kissed him with abandon. This woman was passionate, and damn it, it felt good. He rolled them and pulled her on top of him and let his hands explore her body. His hand traced her curves from her hip up her back and pulled her closer. Then he wound his fingers into her wild mane of curls and kissed her over and over, their mouths open and tongues plundering. Her hips were rocking against him softly and he groaned. He could feel her breasts against his chest, her body so soft against him. He wanted to press her into the floor and have her, right there. 

River lifted her head and looked into his eyes. Better much better, she thought. It made her happy to see the change in him from just a few hours ago. It had hurt her to see him so lost, but now he wasn't so sad, so burdened any more. And she could see the desire blooming there, feel it growing against her. He didn't love her, not yet, but he wanted her very much. Truth was, she wanted him too. She considered it, but only for just a second. He was very attractive, but she knew it wouldn't be right to do that to the man he would be someday. She smiled and lifted a hand to his face, rubbing her thumb against his cheek. She dropped a quick kiss on his lips and slowly got up. The Doctor didn't want her to go yet, and grabbed her hand.

"River, will you stay with me a bit longer?"

"I can't do that, Sweetie. I need to go find Jack and get home." She put the jacket on and picked up her bag.

He nodded. He knew she was his future, not his present. She had told him that he would see her again, that he would have all of that to come. And for the first time in a long time, he was looking forward to his future.

River walked to the door. "Goodbye Sweetie. Until the next time?"

He took her hand and kissed it and held it between his own. "Go easy on him, River. He may be an idiot sometimes, but I'm sure he thanks the heavens for you every day."

She smiled a sweet smile and kissed him on the cheek. Then she was gone, disappearing into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to read my version of the conversation between 10 and 11 about River, check my Works page. It's pretty uncreatively titled Ten asks Eleven About River.


	3. Epilogue

It was a pleasant evening at the Pond house. River was in the back garden sipping a glass of wine, Amy was in the kitchen just finishing after dinner clean up, and Rory had gone upstairs to fetch a book. All was peaceful until the whine and groan of the TARDIS engines got everyone’s attention.

A few minutes later Rory came downstairs, “Did I hear the TARDIS?”

“Yes,” Amy answered, gesturing out the kitchen window. “They are out there doing diaries.” 

Rory came up behind Amy and put an arm around her shoulders as they watched out the window. The Doctor and River were smiling at each other as they flipped through their matching blue books and talked. All of the sudden the smile fell from River’s face. When she slapped the Doctor across the cheek, Rory jumped and Amy laughed. She went over to the back door and poked her head out.

“Oi! Raggedy Man! What did you do to my daughter?”

The Doctor looked down at the dirt, a bit sheepish, but when he looked back up he had a typical Doctor grin on his face. River rolled her eyes and said to Amy, “Rule One.”

Amy also rolled her eyes and turned back into the house. She grabbed the bottle of wine from the counter. “Come on Rory, let’s go into the living room and wait for them to kiss it out.”

River looked at the Doctor sternly, “You lied to me! You saw what it did to me, and you still let me believe it!”

“Well, you didn’t just kiss him. That was a full on and proper snog! You fancied him!”

“I snogged _you_ , Idiot! And you still lied about it. How did things change so much? He didn't want to run away, quite the opposite actually. And when I kiss you for the first time, you sprint and lie about it.” River stood with her arms crossed.

The Doctor paced back a forth a bit, one hand moving between his hair and his pockets. “I felt… differently… the second time. The second time my head was in a different place. You scared the bejeesus out of me and I was ashamed of being scared. You needed the me that had been ready to have you right there on the control room floor. But, my personality had changed, my fear of regenerating was gone, so my fear of you totally took over.

"But why were you so afraid of me?"

"I can't say Spoilers, can I?" She shook her head. "Ok, you know that the first time I met you something happened, and it was enough to let me see a bit of our future. And I'd seen you several times since then. Even though I didn't want to admit it, I was totally falling hopelessly in love with you. Well, when a man sees the inevitability that he's going to be trapped by a woman and he has no hope of escape, no matter how wonderful she is, he gets a bit scared."

"Trapped?" River narrowed her eyes.

"Umm.. River.. bad choice of words. I didn't... mean trapped.. like a bear... I meant... oh you know what I mean."

The Doctor sighed, grabbed her shoulders and lowered his voice, “When you kissed me the first time, I wanted you. When you kissed me the second time, I loved you. There is a big difference. I'm so sorry I lied. Will you forgive me?"

River threw her arms around him and gave him a long, hard, passionate kiss. 

A bit breathless from her kiss, the Doctor said “And yes, I thank the heavens for you every day. River, you are right that an older you will meet a younger me and it will be an older you that meets me for the first time. But, my first kiss on Balthis was not your last kiss, and neither is today. Not by a long shot.” He moved his hands up and pulled her face to his, kissing her.

"Thank you, Sweetie," River smiled at him. "Although, you are right," she continued, shifting her tone to teasing. "I did fancy that Doctor that wanted me right there on the control room floor. How about now? How does this Doctor feel about that?" she asked as she ran her hand inside of his jacket. The Doctor immediately picked her up in his arms and carried her into the TARDIS without a word. 

Amy turned away from the living room windows and said, "Your daughter is totally about to go have sex in the TARDIS."

"Amy!" Rory groaned and gave her a miserable face. 

Amy laughed and plopped down next to him. "Let's take your mind off of it. Read to me, Centurion." 

And he did.


End file.
